So sorry if I haven’t gotten the chance to reply to everyone but hopefully this new blog post can help to pardon my laziness hahah.
So I’m turning 26 years old a few days ago on 24th September 2016, and a lot of things had happened since last year. Time flies so fast, I still feel like I'm 23 years old now. To be honest, I used to think that I would have my own house or my own babies by now, but I guess we are all just struggling with our millennial dreams. Sigh.
I’m not sure if I have written this anywhere else, but my 2015th birthday was spent worrying on whether I’m going to get a job in Singapore. Each year, I am convinced that my birthday is always going to be miserable. In 2014, I had a really amazing party with my good friends in Singapore, but I ended up crying with one of my friends when she told me that she had been raped by her relative. In 2013, my ex broke up with me a few days before and decided to throw a fit during my birthday party. I ended up cutting my hands in my room when everyone else was partying outside. I couldn’t seem to remember what happened before 2012 since my memory is pretty short term so I guess it’s pretty fucked up too. In short, I have experienced this misfortune and birthday drama way too often that I have set my happiness bar really low whenever September arrives.
But enough with the sad stories, every year can be a hopeful year too! I always look forward to experiencing “first times”, you know, new things that you encounter or learn every year. And so far, 2016 has been really kind to me, kinder than any of my birthdays before that. Here are the “first times” that I have experienced so far:
1. I started Foxglove Tarot. 🔮 ✨
Highlight of the year! Here’s to many more years working as an online tarot reader in Bali. 😇
2. I moved to Bali + with my boyfriend. 🌴
I’ve written here earlier about the reason why I moved to Bali, and I still can’t believe that I’ve been living that dream for the past 7 months. We were like a couple who eloped to escape the hustle and bustle of the city life. But our life here is perfect, and it’s probably the happiest state that I have ever experienced in my usual sad and sour life. Thank you, Gods and Goddesses. 😃
3. I started writing weekly astrology column. ♎️
Again, dreams come true! I’ve always wanted to be able to work as an astrology writer and this year I have pushed my limit to start learning astrology. It was really hard at first. I kept on having crazy headache because my intuition is forced to seek information beyond the usual comfort zone. But I got there, and it’s been easy peasy since. 😉 I've actually written for a few medias before, but now I’m only writing for one. Read my Tarotscope column in Magdalene here.
4. I learned to surf. 🏄
Hahahah this sounds really lame, but I am honestly scared of death by drowning. It seems more painful than car crash and shooting bullets to your brain to be honest. But my boyfriend learned to surf recently so I was convinced that surfing seems pretty doable. I had two runs and honestly, I think with more practice I’ll be able to master this so my boyfriend won’t hangout with other surfer girls. #relationshipgoals #dontmesswithscorpiomoon
5. I started my first silver jewelry line - COVEN
I was about to launch this a few weeks ago but I got in a bike accident which injured my hands pretty bad so I kind of have to postpone it. Ugh. But anyway, COVEN is basically a spell-crafted silver jewelry with various manifests depending on your needs. Our first collection is a 5 element charm bracelet - Earth, Fire, Water, Wind, and Spirit. It was my first time designing my own line and it was a really fun project despite the lack of experience. Check the full collection here: ✨ www.covencurio.com ✨
6. I had my first bike accident. 🤕
A week before my birthday I accidentally crashed my bike with another bike. I didn’t get heavily injured, but my trigger finger is still swollen and it took me two weeks until I am able to drive. Bummer. But anyway, lesson learned. Next time I would be a lot more patient on the road and not rushing too much.
8. I went to a psychiatrist for the first time and I finally got diagnosed. 😇
I’ve always known that there’s something wrong with my psyche but just the thought of going to a psychologist or psychiatrist freaks me out. This year, I gave myself a personal birthday present: a visit to a psychiatrist to get myself diagnosed. And apparently, I have Bipolar Disorder type 2. So what is it exactly? Don’t worry, I will write more about it and how I’ve survived it so far without meds despite the constant rush of hypomanic state and suicidal thoughts. And now, I’ve been taking mood stabiliser meds ever since in the hopes of getting better. Wish me luck, guys!
9. Surprisingly, I had a very awesome birthday party! 👯
🎧 Cue: Celebrate by Kool & The Gang 🎉
Thanks to my Ubudian buddies, Kintan & Feby, my birthday this year has become one of my favourite birthdays ever! Thanks for spending amazing 2 days with me on amazing lunch, dinner, going to abandoned place, and dance. I love you guys so so so much!
10. I've learned to be grateful and to go with the flow.
In my opinion, this is probably the best thing I've learned so far in 2016. 2014 and 2015 was filled with so many exciting things, I got to travel to Japan, Australia, house party hopping every weekend, meeting new exciting friends, but I wasn't really content with what I had. In Bali, me and my boyfriend are trying our best to live humbly and to spend as less as possible. We gave up our flashy big city life for a rural life simplicity. We learned, that the best way to be happy is to accept who you are and what you have without complaints. It's great to stay hopeful, but if things don't happen exactly the way you want it to be, adapt. I've learned this the hard way on 2015, and still I am grateful for the experience.
And now, after the gratitude list, I’d like to make a wish for 2017. Next year I’ll look back at this list and hopefully I’ll get to cross some of them!
Things that I’d like to happen before my next birthday:
1. Save enough money to buy a property 🏡
I’m a little bit tired of moving around, honestly. I want to find my own home somewhere, whether it’s Jakarta, Bali, or Singapore, I just want to save enough money to buy a space that I can call as my own. Please please Universe, make this happen.
2. Get married, BUT NO BABIES YET PLEASE 👫 ❤️
After so many trials and errors, I am happy to say that I have found my perfect match (omg this sounds like I’m shopping for a liquid foundation lol). I love him, and I love how happy I am around him. Hopefully we’ll get to plan something out next year. Hopefullyyyyy.
3. Just staying stable. ☺️
My mood has been pretty stable the past one year. Sure, I have one of those depressive moments but I barely have episodes. And I only cut my wrist like what, twice only? Every year I’m getting more and more stable and I am hopeful that I can be a lot more stable than this year. You can do this Canti! 😃
Hi, I'm Canti! :)
Canti Widyadhari is a tarot reader and a witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the curious and the anxious. Contact her at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counselling session with her.