Choose The Pain, Whenever Possible

Choose The Pain, Whenever Possible - Foxglove Tarot Bali

 

Today, I’m allowing myself to feel sadness and pain. I have consciously chosen to release my feelings through tears so I can feel better tomorrow.

During my Reiki master training, my teacher told me that my heart is keeping too much suffering inside. He said, there is a lot of emotion that I haven’t released, and some are the emotions that I have chosen to cling on.

“Why holding onto the past? Why not release it?” he asked, with his thick Indian accent.

I honestly don’t know the answer to his question. Or maybe deep down I know, but I just chose to be unconscious about it.

But his question has made me think about myself and how my emotion works. He said, I haven’t been completely honest about how I feel, and that’s the reason why there are so much suffering persists. I have been pretending that everything’s okay, even though it really isn’t. I have been smiling, and happily articulating how I feel, without taking some time to explore or release the emotion itself.

And today, I finally got the big slap that forces me to sit down and feel the feels.

I’ve been traveling around Rishikesh with this new friend of mine that I met at the first hostel where I stayed. It was a beautiful travel friendship, and I’m grateful to have the Universe arranged a strange meet-up with him. (It's a cute story, but that's for another day). We hung out around the cafes near the Ganges ghats, went to see the abandoned ashram where The Beatles stayed during the 60s, and he showed me several things that I need to note down during my trip to India.

I was with him for about two nights, and we were supposed to share a room tonight. But I went to the hotel today only to be served a goodbye letter from him that’s basically telling me that he’s leaving me to find himself during his last few days in India. And his goodbye triggered something in me.

I felt crushed, abandoned, and most of all, alone.

I know I came to Rishikesh to be alone, but consciously, I’ve been trying to avoid it by trying to get busy and meet new people along the way. I’ve been here for almost a week now, but I haven’t really let go of myself or do whatever mission that I came here to do.

And now, the Universe has coerced me to face my fears heads on.

If you ask me how I’m feeling right now, I can safely say that I’m not mad at my friend. Hurt, yes, but not angry. He needs to do what he has to do, and I respect him for it. In fact, it’s a blessing in disguise since I finally get the alone time that I needed. But I couldn’t help to feel wholly devastated over it.

Soon enough, I realized that this isn’t about my friend or him leaving me. I know he wasn’t malicious, and he explicitly said that he isn’t worth getting upset for. But alas, just like everything in this world, the people that you encounter are usually the mirror of yourself. And what he did trigger my fear of abandonment and goodbyes; which fear is buried deep within my subconscious, if not, something that my inner child is still holding onto.

Today, I realized how I’m still not okay with it.

All my life, I’ve grown up blaming myself for everyone who leaves me. I’m terrified of goodbyes and abandonment, naturally because my dad neglected me. At home, my grandparents were always busy working, leaving me to navigate life by myself. And at school, almost every friend I made will end up bullying me or leaving me for a better friend. It made me grew up thinking I am unworthy of love. And it just always makes sense whenever my friends, lovers, or family members decide to walk away from me.

To compensate for the void, I always end up searching for that father figure, or at least a temporary love to fill in my adult life. I have thrown myself into almost all kinds of men and relationship in my journey of finding love.

But as much as I hate to admit it, I know that whatever happened has helped to set off a course of my work and my life purpose today.

I know how it feels to be devoid of unconditional love, so I have made it my mission to make everyone who is close to me feels as loved as possible. But, I may have forced myself to give so much while I’m still depleted of it.

And today is the day for me to honor that void, to admit that I’m still not as strong as I thought I was and that it’s okay to feel that way.

Just for a day, it’s okay for me to feel sad about my friend’s goodbye, regardless of how insignificant it may seem. It’s okay for me to feel the emotion and the memories of the past it triggered. All I need to do right now is sit down, cry, and be honest about how I feel.

Because our emotion works in a strange way. Sometimes it would set itself ablaze with passion, and sometimes it numbs you, leaving you alone in confusion. It doesn’t have a reason or a basis to operate. The best thing you can do is to feel it, not justify it. Release it, not hold it. And believe it or not, sometimes it’s best to choose suffering over a smile. At least for today. 😊

 


This post was written as a part of my Reiki Master Training in Rishikesh series.

Read my other posts below:

  1. Part 1 - Choose The Pain, Whenever Possible

Foxglove Tarot Bali - Tarot Reading in Bali.jpeg

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.

Why I Chose Polyamory and How It Changes My Love Life

The-Lovers---Foxglove-Tarot-Bali---web.jpg

What if I tell you that by changing your perception of love, you too will change your views about life and relationship?

I don't know if you remember this, but in my post a few months ago, I did open up about my revelation as a pansexual. But what I didn't tell you, was the events that lead up to that.

Around three months ago, I had the privilege to meet this wonderful man, who did not only teach me how to love differently, but he also becomes a significant figure in my life. He's my twin flame, my soul compadre, and eventually, my secondary partner.

Ever since I met him, my eyes are opened up to the possibility of polyamory. Unlike polygamy, which is probably much more familiar to a lot of Indonesians, polyamory is a practice of having more than one committed partner or multiple people to love.

I do have to admit, that when I first heard the sound of it, I'm very skeptical as to how it could work for me. I was in a monogamous 3,5 years relationship with my boyfriend, and I couldn't imagine sharing myself or him with anyone else. Just the thought of him flirting with someone else hurts me, let alone allowing him to have a second girlfriend. I already know how it's going to make me feel. I will feel jealous, insecure, inadequate, and pretty much every negative feeling that you'll feel when your partner decides to cheat on you.

But I was intrigued. Not because of the number of lovers that you can have, but because of the realization that my boyfriend would only ever be intimate with me the moment we decided to tie the knot. (yes we planned to) I've wanted him to explore his options before he even proposed to me so I could keep his eyes from wandering around once I can officially call him mine.

I guess that decision was partially half of a selfless thought and half of my insecurities talking.

And so, when I heard about this other option, I figured, "Why not?"

Little did I know that after my boyfriend and I decided to commit to this new set of relationship, the way I view love has significantly changed ever since.

Being polyamorous has opened up my ability to love more than one person without judgment, nor the feeling of ownership or control over others

I used to think that it isn't possible to share your heart and love equally, but apparently, we are just too accustomed to the normalcy of monogamy that we didn't even see this as another option. As humans, we are multifaceted. There is no way we can be satisfied in loving and receiving love from just one partner for our entire life. And as someone who has been in several long-term monogamous relationships, I can totally relate to this. I have to admit, that even though I've always loved one partner at a time, I couldn't help but to have a crush for another guy at least once in every relationship. (raise your hands if you know what I'm talking about 🙋🏻)

It forces me to be more honest about my feelings too; not just to others, but to myself as well.

When you're dating more than one person, you'll have to juggle the feeling, schedule, boundaries, and the do's and the don'ts of your partners and yourself. If any of you feel unhappy or uncomfortable with something, you'll have to communicate it as soon as possible, or it will affect your other relationship (or perhaps your partner's second or third relationship). Sounds complicated, eh? Haha.

Well, if you think trying to communicate with one partner is tricky, try getting two partners to be on the same page lol.

However, despite all the good stuff that I've written here, I'm not saying that polyamory is the best option for everyone. It's not a cure-all medicine for the lack of intimacy of your relationship. In fact, if your relationship is already ridden with lies and lack of communication, opening it up for polyamory will only make it worse. Instead of increasing intimacy, polyamory will force you to deal with the emotion or issues that you two have been sweeping under the rug.

Because the path of polyamory requires a certain level of emotional maturity to resolve your insecurities. It faces you with your deepest darkest fear about your relationship.

What is it that you're afraid of if your partner is attracted to another woman? Are you worried that she will take away your partner's attention? Are you concerned that your partner will love her more than you? Or does the image of them being intimate with one another can trigger a hidden trauma of yours?

These are the bitter truth that needs to be communicated at all times in a polyamorous relationship.

It sounds difficult, isn't it?

But I can tell you that once you get the hang of it, being polyamorous can be quite liberating. I have stopped limiting myself from the amount of love that I can give or receive to and from others. My objective of loving someone is no longer limited to whether I can have a relationship with them anymore. I can fall in love romantically with a guy that I will probably never get to see again until next year. But at the same time, I'm free to fall in love with a good friend of mine as well.

I don’t have to worry about putting all of my expectation to just one person and pausing my heart from loving someone because a committed relationship isn’t likely to happen between us.

It takes a lot of practice to stay in a constant state of love. But above all, it should start by being honest with yourself. Get this, the more I know how to deal with how I feel, the easier it is for me to focus on the feeling of love, not obsession or possessiveness. And honestly, we could never control anyone we love anyway because we never own them in the first place.

But if you ask me, "Do you want to be a poly forever?" My answer is, I don't know. As of now, I'm just enjoying this ride of romance in relationships. Maybe I'll go back to being monogamous at one point in my life. Or maybe never, who knows?

All I know for now is that the only thing I want is to fall in love and be in the present for it. Over and over again. Just giving my all, one lover at a time.


Foxglove Tarot Bali - Tarot Reading in Bali.jpeg

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.

New Moon in Scorpio 2017 Tarot Spread (and what it means for me!)

I love how every New Moon feels like a reset button for me. It’s like, I’m allowed to make another wish, ask for another manifestation, and I’m allowed to make a different one every time. But during the New Moon in Scorpio, that’s coming up this November 18th, 2017, I feel like I’ve been tangled in work so much that I didn’t catch the important signs that usually pop up a few days beforehand.

Thankfully, Ethony came up with this New Moon in Scorpio tarot spread that helps me to decode the things that I need transforming the most this month. Here’s what the cards have to say about it.

 Pagan Otherworlds Tarot by  Uusi

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot by Uusi

 Silver Astrolocket Scorpio Necklace (www.covencurio.com)

Silver Astrolocket Scorpio Necklace (www.covencurio.com)

New Moon in Scorpio Tarot Spread - The Fool (03).jpg

 

1. What needs transforming at this time? - The Fool

“Spontaneity."

It’s true. I haven’t been really spontaneous lately because I’m so caught up in my work. I’m currently releasing new designs for my jewelry line and I am nothing but spontaneous. As a Mercury and Venus in Virgo person, (and a Libra Sun!) I always tend to create rules to limit my own creativity because I always worry about things. “What if it doesn’t sell?” “What if people hate it?” The card is right. I should stop being so rigid and be more fluid instead.

 

New Moon in Scorpio Tarot Spread - Justice

2. What do I need to let go of? - Justice

“Perfectionism."

As a designer, I have to admit that my perfectionist nature is a double-edged sword that I DEFINITELY need to let go once in a while. Every time I create a new design, I want it to be so refined that I wouldn’t mind revising it over and over again – sometimes at the expense of others.

This card also tells me to tone down the feeling that tells me that I can juggle everything at once. My perfectionist trait definitely doesn’t sit well with my bipolar illness. I need to stop chasing perfection that makes me push myself to be in charge of everything. I should start listening to others and delegating my work to keep my head depression-free.

 

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3. How can I best cultivate inner peace? - Five of Pentacles

"Having a sense of completion."

"Everything comes full circle when you allow it.”

I heard this phrase in my head as I open this card. It means two things to me.

The first one is that the Universe will always have a big plan for me. Everything will turn full circle eventually. What has started will become completed. And all I need to do is trust in the path.

And the second is, I shouldn’t keep adding more tasks to my workload. I need to relax more and enjoy the fruit of my hard work. I need to feel more relieved when I completed a task, instead of checking my to-do list and worrying about the incomplete ones.

Raise your hands if you’re just as guilty as me. 😭

 

New Moon in Scorpio Tarot Spread - Seven of Swords Pentacles.jpg

4. How can I best heal old pain? - Seven of Swords

"Understanding that sometimes you just gotta wing it."

This is so true. There were cases when I and my boyfriend actually got the best deal or having the best time when we’re improvising. Sometimes we would make plans on what to do on our special day (birthday, a day off, etc.) but the more we plan it, the more ruined it will be. We will have a plan of where to go, for sure, but maybe only in one place in that one full day and keep the rest unplanned. It has been proven so many times, that now we always decide to just wing it.

I guess that’s the same thing for my work. Keeping my options open for possibilities is definitely the best way to stop my perfectionism from ruining my work progress.

 

5. What do my guides want to tell me going into this moon cycle? - Seven of Pentacles

"Perfection is what you make it."

I want to tell you a story about how this phrase currently resonates with me.

Ironically, the deck that I’m using to read this, Pagan Otherworlds Tarot, is incomplete. I’ve received this deck since the 6th of November, but I haven’t yet used it until two days ago. That’s when I realized that the Death card is missing from the deck. I’ve tried tracing the two places where I’ve used the deck (my room and a cafe), and there’s been no recollection of me ever seeing this card in person at all. My intuition tells me that the card might have never existed inside the box in the first place.

I was anxious, of course. And I even thought about selling this card and get a new one. But honestly, I think missing the card is probably the most important lesson that I get on this New Moon in Scorpio. Scorpio is a sign of death and transformation. And the card that’s missing is the Death card. Isn’t that weird?

An incomplete tarot deck is probably the best way to teach me to make the bestest perfect situation out of imperfection.

 

In summary, I feel more clear-headed after doing this reading. I feel that moving ahead, I understand that perfection is good, but I can only achieve true perfection if I allow myself to feel satisfied with my own work despite all the imperfection. I realized now, that actually, I’ve had some amazing jewelry design that I made by accident (because I’m bored) or because some craftsmen decided to improvise. It’s important for me to realize that I can’t always control my work outcome and that it’s always best for me to just trust the Universe and its divine process.

 

If you’re interested to try out this spread, tag me @foxglovetarot and @ethony on Instagram with the hashtag #NewMoonScorpioTarot. I’d like to see how this spread helps you to identify your trait that needs transforming. Thanks for reading, and hope you have a blessed New Moon in Scorpio!


Foxglove Tarot Bali - Tarot Reader in Bali.jpeg

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.

How to Celebrate Full Moon in Taurus (+ Simple Money Spell!)

 Gold Taurus Astrolocket Bracelet by COVEN (get yours at www.covencurio.com)

Gold Taurus Astrolocket Bracelet by COVEN (get yours at www.covencurio.com)

 

Well hello there, Full Moon in Taurus! Finally, we'll get to see you again this year! It’s time to manifest our dream through work and money money money. Tonight, let’s celebrate the finer things in life with these simple steps:

 

1. “Just do it!"

If the days leading up to the Full Moon in Taurus seem pretty busy for you, that’s because you’ve been enchanted by this lunar spell! Taurus rules wealth and personal income. And what’s the best way to get 'em? Yep, work. This week is not the time to lodge a complaint to the Universe for taking up your weekend. Instead, be grateful for your work opportunity and keep your eyes on the prize. Just do your checklist, and focus on making your dreams come true.

 

2. Indulge yourself with your wish list

Taurus rules luxury and material possession, giving you the one cheat day to make a big purchase to satiate your need for the finer things in life. But don’t go overboard and spend every money that you’ve worked hard for on the goods, okay? Also, if money has been scarce for you, it’s time to give some back to the Universe. According to The Astro Twins, if you hold on to your money too tight, you won’t get more than what you have next time. Try to rotate it through donation or a sweet purchase. Give some and get some (more), girl.

Check out my favorite money spell to try on this Full Moon!

💰 Simple Money Spell:

  • Get yourself an orange / bergamot / ginger essential oil and anoint it on a neat-looking bill.
  • Just use a small bill. Like, Rp 10,000 or a dollar.
  • Inhale the scent of the essential oil on the bill and imagine yourself surrounded by abundance. What would you do if you have that much money? How is your life going to be like? Make sure that you imagine every single detail.
  • Put the bill in your wallet and don't use it until your wish comes true.

I would suggest you wish for a more realistic outcome to try and test this spell first before you go big. Well, good luck! I hope it works for you! 🍀

 

3. #GratitudeAttitude

If your wish is to stay grounded during this period, you’re on the right path. Taurus Full Moon doesn’t like those whose pride and ego are controlling their each and every decision. Even though Taurus rules income and luxury, let’s not forget that Taurus’ planetary ruler is my mama Venus, the goddess of love and beauty. In this period, you’ll get a plus point if you start to appreciate the beauty and the kindness around you. Don’t forget to thank the nature too for providing you with abundance. 

 

Now that you've read my tips, which one you're going to try first? Give me a shout-out in the comments below! 🙏🏽


Foxglove Tarot Bali - Tarot Reader in Bali.jpeg

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.

Things I've Learned During My Healing Month in August 2017

The Sea.jpg

I don't know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been pretty low-key this month. I didn’t write any blog post. I missed my usual #FridayFreebies and #TarotTuesday last week. I also didn't post that many updates for COVEN. I'm so so so sorry! That's because August is my healing month. It's a time for me to recuperate, or at least to stabilize myself from the bipolar disorder.

In July, I spent the entire month traveling to two different places; Jakarta and Singapore. Trying to adjust with the vibe of each city while continuing my spiritual work took a toll on me, particularly on my mental health. I was starting to lose the grasp of stability. And sometimes, I admit that I pushed myself too hard to meet the demands of having a consistent online presence when I’m supposed to enjoy my holiday. I’m a workaholic and a perfectionist with bipolar disorder. I can’t be satisfied with mediocre work. But at the same time, keeping up with perfection is what exactly brings me down.

But August is an entirely different month than July. As usual, before I start each month, I will look at the ephemeris, and do a reading to know what to look out. What is the lesson that I need to learn by the end of the month? Has there been any sign that leads me to the lesson? This month, it came in the form of mildew that filled my entire bedroom, including the surface of every single item I own, such as clothes and cosmetics. Imagine coming home after a night flight and seeing the horror when all you want is to lie down and rest. I had a breakdown right then and there. I started taking antidepressant medication to cope with the stress of house cleaning; which I continue to take until now. Even as I’m writing this blog post, my mood is still unstable enough to get back to work as usual (or clean up the house thoroughly, for that matter).

Astrologically, August is meant to be a healing month for me. This month we are blessed with two eclipses, Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius on August 7th and Solar Eclipse in Leo on August 22nd. Unluckily for me, the first eclipse affects my sixth house (House of Health), while the second eclipse makes its mark on my twelfth house (House of Unconscious). Generally, when there’s an eclipse in the axis of your sixth or twelfth house, you will become more sensitive mentally and physically. There may be a major change relating to physical illness or spiritual healing that you need to focus on – which is exactly what’s happening to me.

The Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius sheds light on the darkest feature of my life and the breakthrough required to accept it, and eventually strip myself from the suffering. In the morning of the eclipse day, I went for a monthly psychiatric check up. The doctor told me that my mood swing had worsened, meaning that I had both hypomania and depression at the same time. The depression manifested in suicidal thoughts, while the hypomania messed with my sleeping pattern. She prescribed a new medication called Seroquel to reduce the hypomania. The medicine thankfully worked wonder. I was actually worried that I might have to adjust with new side effects because god knows what will happen to my brain next. 

Generally, when there’s an eclipse in the axis of your sixth or twelfth house, you will become more sensitive mentally and physically. There may be a major change relating to physical illness or spiritual healing that you need to focus on – which is exactly what’s happening to me.
 My Bipolar Disorder Medication

My Bipolar Disorder Medication

But so far it’s been pretty manageable. I did have a few breakdowns a week ago to the point where I felt like a total failure for being unable to leave the bed/house or for not being able to post #TarotTuesday, which I’m really sorry about. The thing with keeping up with online presence while struggling with depression is that every single interaction drains your energy so much. I would rather disappear and then come back with an explanation rather than having to force myself to reply to every single comment on my Instagram photo. I couldn't. It would be another recipe for disaster to me. So I decided to spend the day in bed, not thinking much about my illness while receiving the healing Reiki energy from the Divine White Light Youtube channel. Up until now, I've been going through different reactions to the new medication, such as breakdown/depressive episode, irritability, feeling anti-social, but at least my mood has slowly gone better.

The thing with keeping up with online presence while struggling with depression is that every single interaction drains your energy so much.

I have also started to notice the triggers that will lead to an episode. The first one is the thought of losing stability. It doesn’t matter if I'm losing it or not. If my brain thinks so, it will feel so. It’s easier to crash when the thought is looming over my head, even though logically I know it’s not true. Some friends even asked me if that means I can’t deal with changes. I can. It’s just harder to deal with changes if you think you don’t have a safety net to catch you when you fall.

The second one is alcohol. Since the first day, I took mental health medication, I have never been fully drunk. I’ve been trying to limit my consumption because I don’t want it to interfere with my medication. However, a few weeks ago I was meeting some friends. And, since I was hypomanic I decided to let loose for once only to find myself suffering from a heavy hangover and major depressive episode for the next two days. I couldn’t function at all. All I wanted was to stay in bed, feel sorry for myself, and refuse to take care of myself. That’s when I decided that I will no longer do heavy drinking. Social drinking is fine, but I shouldn’t do it for more than one day in a week. Also because my doctor agrees with me.

 12/08/17: My first day going out and enjoying some me time at the beach after suffering from depression for 2,5 weeks

12/08/17: My first day going out and enjoying some me time at the beach after suffering from depression for 2,5 weeks

If you’re also struggling with a lifelong mental illness like me, here are a few tips that I’ve learned during my two weeks depression phase. Please understand that stability is temporary. Depression, much like cancer, is a silent killer. They can strike anytime, often without any trigger. It is critical for you to continue to track your mood, so you know when it’s going to strike. Sometimes it follows a monthly cycle. Like for example, I’m more prone to depression during Pre-Menstrual Syndrome period. Or sometimes, there’s no cycle at all. Either way, always try to log your mood and certain triggers in the past that may prompt the episode.

You also need to know certain habits or symptoms that are likely to show up when you’re about to experience depression. For instance, I know when I’m about to have one if I can’t focus on the road when I’m driving. My mind seems to be blank. I’m not thinking about anything, but I’m not focused on what’s in front of me as well. These small, minor symptoms are often lead to more debilitating symptoms in the end. Do not underestimate it.

Another thing that I’d like to emphasize is for you to take things slow. It’s okay to take some time off from the real world to recuperate from your mental illness. Don’t force yourself too hard when you’re not ready. This is why I've only taken two in-person sessions within three weeks. I also haven't posted a lot of updates on my social media. I want to make sure I’m not self-sabotaging myself from my healing period. But it doesn’t mean that you should give up. Take your meds, do your therapy, do anything you need to do to get well. But take a proper rest when it’s time to rest. That said, do not binge watch Game of Thrones at 3 AM in the morning (personal experience lol).

It’s okay to take some time off from the real world to recuperate from your mental illness. Don’t force yourself too hard when you’re not ready.

Check out the photos below to see my recovery progress! They are not edited (well maybe for the one that has me in it hahahah) because I want to be honest with you about the real effect of depression in my life. And to celebrate little victories too! (because it's really important)

 Day 1 of Depression: The mildew phase

Day 1 of Depression: The mildew phase

 The mildew is everywhere on my items

The mildew is everywhere on my items

 Early sleeping situation. I had to sleep on the floor because there's mildew on my bed too.

Early sleeping situation. I had to sleep on the floor because there's mildew on my bed too.

 11/08/17: Finally finished cleaning up the mildew and getting the clothes washed at the laundromat.

11/08/17: Finally finished cleaning up the mildew and getting the clothes washed at the laundromat.

 11/08/17: Finally finished cleaning up the mildew and wiping every single item that I have in my wardrobe.

11/08/17: Finally finished cleaning up the mildew and wiping every single item that I have in my wardrobe.

 The kind of situation I lived in when I was struggling with depression. Sleeping in my study because my bedroom is humid af.

The kind of situation I lived in when I was struggling with depression. Sleeping in my study because my bedroom is humid af.

 12/08/17: Day 6 adjusting to Seroquel - Meeting the first in-person client in Ubud, Bali. I'm finally passionate about my work again. Thanks, Renata for meeting me and trusting me to help you.

12/08/17: Day 6 adjusting to Seroquel - Meeting the first in-person client in Ubud, Bali. I'm finally passionate about my work again. Thanks, Renata for meeting me and trusting me to help you.

 12/08/17: Day 6 adjusting to Seroquel - Meeting a friend after the session in Ubud and watching the sunset at Batu Belig beach, Seminyak. This is when I know that everything's going to be alright. 

12/08/17: Day 6 adjusting to Seroquel - Meeting a friend after the session in Ubud and watching the sunset at Batu Belig beach, Seminyak. This is when I know that everything's going to be alright. 

The most important takeaway from all of this is that please please please try to get to know yourself better. Despite my experience of battling depression for years, I am still not familiar enough with my cycle and triggers. There’s always something new coming up every month. I’m not sure how my brain continues to find ways to go haywire. But I always try to note down any new symptoms or triggers whenever I can to prevent the same one from happening in the future. And I think you should too. It'll be so much easier to stay stable if you know what's been triggering you. 😇

If you need someone to talk to about mental health issue, I'm here for you. You can either book a reading if you need my help to perform a reading on your problems, or you can share your story with me in the comments below. You can also ask me any questions about mental illness and different ways to get better through my Twitter. Or if you're not feeling comfortable sharing it publicly, you can always contact me here. Stay healthy and stay stable, everyone! ❤️


Foxglove Tarot Bali - Tarot Reader in Bali.jpeg

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.