the comfort in reinventing yourself

dried tree near window in yellow light

It’s not our fault to feel uncomfortable in our own skin. We can’t choose where we want to be born, what kind of family we were born into, what kind of person we are, or even which gender. We had no control of our starting line, resulting in a coping mechanism in form of self-reinvention.

Sometimes I despise my own reflection for being less perfect than some of my peers. I wish my hair is silkier, my skin is fairer, and my nose is pointier; one reason why finding the right angle for selfie is pivotal to me. However, physical form is unlike a translucent soul that can be enriched and purified at all times. I do not enjoy the thought of putting myself under the knife. Hence, I choose the mildest option; wearing makeup whenever I go out. To me, the purpose of wearing make up is not to attract those men across my table. It’s empowering in a strong yet subtle way, allowing me to finally strut around with pride. If I don’t wear it, I look tired, when in reality I am perfectly awake. I also love how makeup helps me to convey different personalities depending on my mood. When I’m feeling sweet, I dab on a pink lipstick. Foxy mood, on the other hand, deserves a nice Russian Red smooch. I’m sure I’m not the only one who likes to bask in this momentary personalities.

My friend, on the other hand, reinvented himself by pretending to be a confident and bubbly man in the presence of others. In reality, he’s an awkward one. He joked one time that the concept of male ego does not apply to him because he sees himself as ‘worthless’. I disagrees with him every time because despite how he perceive himself, he’s not a closeted introvert. His actual self is the confident and the bubbly man who everyone sees (including me). He was not trying to reinvent himself, he’s just letting his inner self shine.

He made me realise how multifaceted humans are. You think you’re putting on that makeup because you want people to see you as the beautiful girl you are. Well, guess what, you are. You think you’re wearing all black to convince everyone that you’re a gothic one. It’s probably your current phase / mood or one of the multifaceted face of yours. The point is, you’re never anyone but you.

Reinventing ourselves is a form of breaking through the shell created by our environment to be our truest self. To be beautiful, to be gay, to be outgoing, whichever faces you are going with, do it if it makes you comfortable in your own skin. Nobody is living your life but you, and life is too short to live with pretence.

Photo credit: Sam X - Unsplash

Foxglove Tarot Bali

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at to book a private counseling session with me.