love yourself

the comfort in reinventing yourself

dried tree near window in yellow light

It’s not our fault to feel uncomfortable in our own skin. We can’t choose where we want to be born, what kind of family we were born into, what kind of person we are, or even which gender. We had no control of our starting line, resulting in a coping mechanism in form of self-reinvention.

Sometimes I despise my own reflection for being less perfect than some of my peers. I wish my hair is silkier, my skin is fairer, and my nose is pointier; one reason why finding the right angle for selfie is pivotal to me. However, physical form is unlike a translucent soul that can be enriched and purified at all times. I do not enjoy the thought of putting myself under the knife. Hence, I choose the mildest option; wearing makeup whenever I go out. To me, the purpose of wearing make up is not to attract those men across my table. It’s empowering in a strong yet subtle way, allowing me to finally strut around with pride. If I don’t wear it, I look tired, when in reality I am perfectly awake. I also love how makeup helps me to convey different personalities depending on my mood. When I’m feeling sweet, I dab on a pink lipstick. Foxy mood, on the other hand, deserves a nice Russian Red smooch. I’m sure I’m not the only one who likes to bask in this momentary personalities.

My friend, on the other hand, reinvented himself by pretending to be a confident and bubbly man in the presence of others. In reality, he’s an awkward one. He joked one time that the concept of male ego does not apply to him because he sees himself as ‘worthless’. I disagrees with him every time because despite how he perceive himself, he’s not a closeted introvert. His actual self is the confident and the bubbly man who everyone sees (including me). He was not trying to reinvent himself, he’s just letting his inner self shine.

He made me realise how multifaceted humans are. You think you’re putting on that makeup because you want people to see you as the beautiful girl you are. Well, guess what, you are. You think you’re wearing all black to convince everyone that you’re a gothic one. It’s probably your current phase / mood or one of the multifaceted face of yours. The point is, you’re never anyone but you.

Reinventing ourselves is a form of breaking through the shell created by our environment to be our truest self. To be beautiful, to be gay, to be outgoing, whichever faces you are going with, do it if it makes you comfortable in your own skin. Nobody is living your life but you, and life is too short to live with pretence.

Photo credit: Sam X - Unsplash


Foxglove Tarot Bali

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.

you can't make everyone like you

girl in lingerie with flowers

As humans, we constantly crave to fit in. We are collective creatures, obsessed with the idea that finding our tribe is essential to our growth.

When we first dip into our very first taste of society, we will encounter two types of people. The first, those who are so similar to us it feels that the friendship has transcended a lifetime. The second, individuals who come from different backgrounds - who are so different to us that it can result in two different ways. They can be the missing puzzles of our monotone life, however, they can also completely reject our existence in their community - and that’s okay because we can’t make everyone like us. 

I was never a popular kid in primary school. Or maybe I was, for all the wrong reasons. Growing up I realized that partially the reason of why I wasn’t really likable or popular with friends was because I was an indigo. Indigo children are kids who are born with strong purple/indigo aura as a result from their active third eye chakra. Despite their heightened senses and high intelligence level, these children emanate a weird vibe that ticks everyone around them; making them the odd one out. They have ADHD, they get frustrated easily, and they have trouble communicating what they want, as they are often born in dysfunctional families.

As a result, indigo children often experience bullying at school and the only people that can connect with them are those who stand with them on the same level of frequency. Due to this inability to adapt, indigo children are prone to experience mental illness, such as depression and anxiety. And if you’re an indigo like me, don’t bother trying to make people like you. Because you are just going to stuck in the loop of (I want people to like me) -> (I change myself for them) -> (They like me) -> (I’m unhappy because I can’t be myself) -> (Going back as the real me) -> (Mocked for being weird) -> (Depressed) -> and repeat.

What I have realized so far is that everyone is different. What is considered right for them is probably not right for us. Similarly, if we can’t accept some people in our comfort zone, there are also people who feel the same way about us. No matter how hard we try to fit in, we won’t be able to fit because they have their own set of standards or requirements that do not suit our tenets. Even if we finally change our true self to meet their demand it would not bring us any happiness. This is something that you shouldn’t worry too much about because it’s okay not to be friends with everyone.

To be at peace is to accept the world as it is. Differences enrich our life and it is our challenge to balance it. The more we are exposed to the opposite poles the more we develop a better understanding of how the universe works because our life is designed to resemble a wheel of fortune. The hardship in our life is intended to make us humble and grounded because we can’t stay on top forever. Thus meeting people who do not like us, helps us to understand ourselves and our surroundings better. When we realize that not everyone has a liking for us, we start to understand that we are just humans with flaws. We are not perfect. We are not always correct. People will always disagree with us, no matter what. Their feedback helps us to look into ourselves and see which part that we can improve for the better. Not to please everyone, but to become a better individual. 

Just remember to always take a positive note whenever you encounter this situation. Take notice of the things that others dislike about you. See if their feedback is constructive and was meant to help you grow, or was it intended to hurt and denigrate you. If it’s constructive, try to see if there is anything you can improve. On the other hand, don’t take such great lengths in changing yourself to please people who are exceptionally negative about you.

If you don’t like the way they treat you, make sure you don’t treat others the same way. If you really have to be in the same environment as them for quite some time, such as a workplace, school, or even in a family, try to agree to disagree amicably. Minimize as much conflict as possible to keep you at peace. You don’t have to be friends with them, but it’s always a more positive move to become acquaintances. Maybe both of you will change and be good friends in the future? Who knows? But if you really can’t take the pressure, you always have the option to leave or distance yourself temporarily.

Above all, the most important thing is to just be yourself, focus on what makes you happy, and do not let their words take that smile away from you. 

Photo credit: Danielle Santala - Life of Pix


Foxglove Tarot (round).jpg

Hi, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.