self-love

New Moon in Cancer: Finding a Sense of Completion within You

In the picture: The Moon and The Priestess of Thoth Tarot by Aleister Crowley | Cancer Gold Bracelet and Goddess Moonstone Ring by  COVEN

In the picture: The Moon and The Priestess of Thoth Tarot by Aleister Crowley | Cancer Gold Bracelet and Goddess Moonstone Ring by COVEN

Have you been feeling melancholic recently? Well, surprise! The New Moon in Cancer is happening tonight. Be prepared for an emotional roller coaster. Or if you're already on the ride, it's time to finally acknowledge our flaws and fill our lack with positive endeavors.

The New Moon is a sign for us to begin our rebirth. Unlike Full Moon, New Moon clears our old, destructive habit to give space for new, positive energy. Being in the Cancer sphere, this month’s New Moon touches Cancer’s area of focus such as home, healing, security, and family. It’ll remind us of the things that we’re lack in our lives, and what we have to do to complete it. But of course, it’s not going to be as easy as it sounds.

As of now, we have a total of four planets located in Cancer that helps to enhance the energy: The Sun, the Moon, Mercury, and Mars. All four planets are connected in trine aspect with Uranus in Aries, highlighting the blessing of inner strength and independence that Cancer bestows upon us this week. However, Mars’ trine with Neptune Retrograde in Pisces and the square aspect with Jupiter in Libra tells me that despite our effort to be independent, we are also hindering our progress with our crave for intimacy and security. This month’s New Moon, along with the three other planets that in conjunct around it, is a wake-up call for us to set our priorities straight.

Cancer is a cardinal water sign. A strong, independent leader with a nurturing flair – influenced by its sensitive ruler, the Moon. But its independence may rely entirely on someone else’s dependency on them. A happy Cancerian is someone who has fulfilled their need for a happy domestic life while being able to support someone else in their free time. They will only aim for a successful future if they know that it will be worthwhile for their family in the end.

For some people, the energy of New Moon in Cancer can be translated as the need to form a family, the need to put their loved ones first, or the need to protect what they already have. Some people may feel a surge of despair being surrounded by wealth without someone to share. Eventually, it points to our theme of the week: completion. You will only feel secure when your needs are fulfilled, whether it's emotionally or physically. You may also long for the warm and cozy feeling within you, something that a Cancerian will never lack due to their empathetic nature. If you notice anything that's missing in your life, this New Moon in Cancer is the time for you to reflect upon it.

Here are some tips to get a sense of completion on New Moon in Cancer:
 

Create your sacred space

Do you have a place in your home that you consider as sacred? If you don’t, find a nook or choose an area to be your personal sacred space. It is a space where you can do your personal me time. Whether to read, relax, or nap, the area should be comfortable enough to be your safe haven. Once you have made a home within a home, keep the space clean and tidy. Get rid of things that can disrupt your Zen and replace it with items that give you a sense of comfort. 

Find out what’s weighing you down

New Moon in Cancer will tap into your emotion. And if you're sensitive to an emotional sting, the energy can really weigh you down. You need to face the discomfort within you to set yourself free. Is there any issue that needs to be forgiven? Is there anything that you’ve been wanting to do or say but never got the chance? Resolve the issue or make peace with yourself. It's time to release the burden once and for all.

Give yourself some much-needed self-love

You're not as strong as you look, and that's okay. There's no need to punish yourself for feeling intensely or for needing time to unwind. We all have our weakness. It's our job to address where we're lack and provide ourselves with love and support. Treat yourself to a nice dinner, watch the movie that your boyfriend would never watch with you, and appreciate what you've done for yourself.

Spend some quality time with the family

The New Moon in Cancer is coincidentally (although I think it's NOT coincidental) close to the Hari Raya Idul Fitri. Some of you might have gone home to see your family, which is exactly how we should celebrate these two events (FYI, Cancer is known to be the universal sign of family). This week, go back to your root and enjoy some quality time with your loved ones. Make yourself feel whole again. If you don't have anyone in your family to spend time with, at least enjoy a company of a group that nurtures you.

Heal yourself

Sometimes all you need is to slow down and relax when everything is too overwhelming. Take some time off to address your health, your emotion, or your feelings (see the first tips!). You can also see a doctor or a healer to help you with any blockage in your chakra. In fact, I just went to see an ophthalmologist for the first time today to check my eyes. (Spoiler: Apparently I'm short-sighted, sigh.) Anyway, my point is, your health is important and it should be your number one priority this week (or any days in your life, really!).

I hope the New Moon in Cancer tonight brings you the much needed emotional cleansing to find out what’s been hindering you from your growth. We are never perfect, but we are whole. Once you understand where your weaknesses are, you can slowly weave a more fully developed spiritual path for yourself.

Have a great New Moon night, witchlings!


Foxglove Tarot Bali

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.

New Moon in Aries 2017: Letting go of your ego and accepting yourself.


Hello, friends!

Hope you're having a good week so far! Are you ready for a long blog post? (Sorry)

Today in Bali, Indonesia, we are celebrating the Nyepi Day, or as known as the Day of Silence.

In case you’ve never heard of the event, Nyepi is a day of self-reflection in Balinese Hindu tradition through several restrictions such as Amati Geni (no fire, light, or electricity), Amati Karya (no working), Amati Lelunganan (no traveling), and Amati Lelanguan (fasting and no self-entertainment). We are expected to think in retrospect in silence about who we are and evaluate our values, such as love, patience, and kindness. We connect with our Creator, with the Universe, and with ourselves through prayer, fasting, and meditation. But most importantly, we do it to be in touch with our core self – our spiritual self, without any distraction.

Like any other Nyepi Day, the celebration always falls on New Moon. I’ve only been celebrating it twice here in Bali, and last year it was New Moon in Pisces + Lunar Eclipse turn, while tonight is the chance for the New Moon in Aries to take center stage.

Let’s not forget that Venus and Jupiter are still in retrograde, keeping yourself focused on searching spirituality and wellness inward. And with Venus retrograde standing in conjunction with the New Moon right at the heart of Aries, this need of loving yourself first will become heightened as the week goes.

All aspects added, the question that I’m trying to answer today is: “Is there anything that we can expect this week based on tonight’s celestial event?” I have drawn three cards from my favorite astro diviner Thoth Tarot to assist me.
 


Two of Disks (Change): Find ways to end the cycle of ego within you.

Every ego wants to be special. If it can’t be special by being superior to others, it’s also quite happy with being especially miserable.
— Eckhart Tolle

Ego is a part of us that we can never erase. But don’t worry, that there are ways to work around it – to remind the ego that it is not here to stay and overpower us. Through the reading, the Two of Disks reminds us to stay grounded this week. New Moon in Aries is INTENSE (yes I have to use the capital to illustrate exactly how INTENSE this is). And being a sign of ego that is Aries, tonight’s New Moon will propel you into ego traps.

Always be aware of the feeling of superiority. Achieve that awareness, take a step back and understand why you feel the need to be superior or judgmental to others. Is there any part of you that requires healing and letting go? The New Moon in Aries will help us to recognize the “sickness” and highlights the core problem.

Suggestion: Do a transcending ego meditation. This one is my favorite.

Ace of Cups: Nourish the mind, body, and spirit.

Currently, there are five planets stationed in Aries (Venus, Sun, Moon, Uranus, and Mercury), giving a boost of Aries’ fiery individualistic energy. In my earlier post, I talked about the influence of this Arian energy during Venus retrograde: the importance of self-love. Will this theme go forward during New Moon in Aries? Hell yeah! Here’s how Leah Whitehorse further describes this connection in her LUA Astrology website:

Venus is all about ‘I love you’ but in Aries, it’s about ‘I love me!’. Instead of striking out and starting new projects or relationships, this New Moon suggests we need to go within and bravely learn to love ourselves first and foremost. Self-love is integral to the path ahead.
— Leah Whitehorse

So ask yourself if you’ve been naughty or nice to yourself this week. Do you allow yourself to take a break when needed? Have you eaten your meals on time? Have you spent enough self-care time for yourself? Have you been sleeping around even if you know you’re not supposed to do it because it’s going to make you feel shitty the next day? But most importantly, are you happy?

Suggestion: Do any of these self-care activities, but try not to break the bank because Venus RX literally won’t allow you to overspend.

Also, maybe try the Go-Massage? I’ve heard raving reviews about it, so I hope they can do the job of de-stressing you. 

Queen of Cups: Don’t deny your relationship with yourself.

Following the importance of self-love that I have highlighted earlier, you also have to have a strong bond with yourself. As you’re reading this, you're probably thinking about certain physical or emotional traits that you don’t like about yourself. Some people don’t like their shadow side or the way their intuition getting in the way of their logic. I have even met some people who don't like themselves because they’re too nice to everyone else. There are thousands of reasons of why you can’t make peace with yourself. And tonight’s New Moon will only bring those reasons to the surface.

Scratch that. We will enjoy the New Moon in Aries week with full love and honesty with ourselves.

Accept both the good and the bad of our existence, and understand that there is no way you can achieve perfection. It doesn’t mean that you can be a total bitch and say, “Yeah I can’t change my attitude, because I know I’m selfish and arrogant.” It means, you understand the length of your disliked traits, and you work towards accepting or making peace with it. In other words, you shouldn’t use those particular traits to feed your ego (back to point no 1).

Suggestion: Do a heart-to-heart talk with your partner/family/friend, and discuss the things that you don’t like about yourself – whether it’s your attitude, belief, or your physical self. Ask their opinion and discuss how you can make your progress in accepting those traits.

PS: I won’t suggest you change anything yet, especially anything on your physical self because Venus is still in retrograde.


Well, I hope you’re ready for the New Moon tonight! Let me know if you have any other suggestion to celebrate Nyepi / New Moon in Aries in the comments below. 🌚 🌝


Foxglove Tarot Bali

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.

Why We Don’t Think We Deserve True Love

Evan Kirby - Unsplash.jpg

Remember this quote from Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky? “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Yeah, that one.

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I saw someone posted the quote. Strangely, it happened in the same week while I was occupied with a lot of stories about my tarot reading clients who experience abuse in a relationship. And just like that, I snapped.

I have my own sad stories about unfair treatment in a relationship, so I know how it feels like to be on the losing end. But on that day, I realized that we are not always the victim here.

Here’s the cycle. You meet this very sweet and sensitive guy who seem to understand you with all your flaws and imperfections, but once you move in together, he feels insecure about everything you do. You spend your days trying to convince him that you will always be there for him and be his supportive girlfriend.

You give so much love, but you get so little in return. In fact, you won’t have enough love to love yourself because he’ll assume that if you love yourself, you don’t love him enough. Sounds familiar?

I’ve seen not only clients but good friends who are strong powerful females who fell into this trap over and over again. Most of the women who experience abuse or lack of power balance in their relationship either come from a dysfunctional family or they tend to value themselves lower.

They think that staying in a relationship with so much discomfort seems more comfortable than finding someone else who can give them the love they deserve. It’s because they’re not sure if anyone can love them more than their abusive partner.

They also think that love can change the way their partner treats them. It might happen in an alternate reality, but based on my personal experience and my clients’ stories, I’m sorry to tell you but, it’s pretty unlikely.

Because it’s bullshit. I’m sorry if I have to kick your ass this way because I know that you deserve so much more.

Look at yourself again in the mirror and tell me what you see. Do you see a confident, beautiful woman that deserves someone who can love her for being who she is? I do.

You don’t deserve bullies who continuously lower your self-worth just to make themselves feel good.

How we allow our partner to treat ourselves is the reflection of how we think we deserve to be treated. If we don’t value ourselves enough, we are more likely to attract the needy partner who dislikes the idea of us being who we are. Remember, no one can give you better love than yourself.

The right love will make you feel comfortable being yourself. The right person will encourage you to pursue your hobby, the future you want, even if it means you have to sacrifice comfort in your relationship (hello, long distance relationship!). You’ll know if you’re in the right relationship for you if you feel comfortable in speaking out your opinion without worrying about being the bad guy here because a great relationship contains nothing but love and respect for each other.

So give yourself some loving before you plea for someone else’s love. Oh and, please know that you should find love from someone that is so amazing, rather than sticking to the second best, because you totally deserve it.

 

*I originally published this article in Thought Catalog.

Photo by Evan Kirby - Unsplash


Foxglove Tarot Bali

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.

What will happen to your love life during Venus Retrograde March - April 2017

The Lovers - The Baroque Bohemian Cats Tarot by The Baba Studio

The Lovers - The Baroque Bohemian Cats Tarot by The Baba Studio

Yesterday marks the beginning of Venus Retrograde until April, 15th 2017. It’s also the date when my ex is getting married. Uh oh.

Ever since I saw his invitation, I could only think of one thing: What will happen if someone gets married on Venus Retrograde? I’m sure it’s not going to be the main thing that determines the course of their marriage, but I hope everything is going to work between them. I love my ex like a brother, so I wish he gets the happy ending that he deserves.

It is when I start to freak out.

What will it mean to his new marriage and my current relationship then?

So here’s the thing. Venus is the planet of beauty, love, partnership, and money, which rules our two favorite star signs: Taurus and Libra (yes I’m a proud Libra!). When it goes retrograde, all of the aspects above will turn inward first, before stationing forward.

You might have the chance to battle your inner demons, meet a few people from the past, or even taking some time to contemplate before making a life-changing decision.

Armand Diaz wrote in his Integral Astrology blog that the general theme of Venus retrograde is the recognition of our values. It can be reassessing how we value ourselves or being reacquainted with something or someone of value.

This week, Venus stations retrograde while she’s in the individualist Aries, joining the reign of Uranus and Mars opposing Jupiter retrograde in Libra. It is when spontaneity and impulsive acts can bring drama to your romance. One of you might be tempted to find a release by eyeing on a cute coworker. And with Mars fuelled the fire, it’ll be a hard time to concede after a dispute, which brings the trust issue back into the game. 

From April 4th - 15th, Venus will once again return to the dreamy Pisces before it moves direct. With a square with Saturn retrograde in Sagittarius and a sextile with Mars in Taurus, it’ll be easier to kiss and makeup during this period. The chaos has been done. The stability and straightforwardness offered by Mars in Taurus, along with the self-awareness process by Saturn retrograde, will help to examine what went wrong and what we can do about it.

For couples, the Venus retrograde is the period for you to assess your deep-rooted problems and seek the win-win solution to strengthen your bond.

The Venus retrograde period generally doesn’t affect existing couples, so you don’t have to worry about it so much. It's usually the annoyance or existing issues that will arise to the surface, which requires teamwork by you two to make it through. Watch out for the Venus retrograde’s signature nostalgic memory, though. One of you may long for the one that got away, or suddenly reminiscing the beginning of your relationship. It’ll be a period where you long for a hopeless romantic story of your own. Anyway, just make sure no one’s hiding anything suspicious to keep the relationship intact.

Single and/or going to have a new relationship soon? If you can, you better hold off until Venus moves forward.

I asked Annabel Gat, the astrology writer for Broadly, about this and she said: “LOTS of people say Venus RX relationships can’t last, but I’ve seen otherwise. But certainly not an ideal time astrologically!” It’s true, though. Even those who have retrogrades on their natal chart (my boyfriend’s parents each has two on their charts!) can achieve great things despite the hindrance. They have to work twice as hard as the people with no retrogrades, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. 

Couples who start on Venus retrograde, whether it’s a new relationship, engagement, or marriage, are more likely to be biased in their decision. Why?

It's because retrograde Venus seduces them with the fantasy of true love.

Everything will seem more magical when your new love is around. You won’t even see the red flag until you seal the deal. It’s an illusion that will happen to everyone, which spell can only break when Venus is moving direct again. But like I said, it doesn’t mean that the new relationship is going to fail. Once it moves forward, it will feel as if you’re waking up after a crazy Tinder date with makeup smearing all over your tired face, and a half-naked dude sleeping right beside you. You’ll wonder to yourself, “Where am I and what have I done?” But eventually, the choice is yours: whether you want to stay and have a brunch with him or go home for a morning walk of shame.

Venus retrograde is, in fact, the perfect time to shower yourself with self-love.

Instead of falling for exes who are not worth your time, you should use this period to take care of yourself and your heart too. Pamper yourself with a homemade bath bomb, try that new expensive lotion that you're always dying to have, or do a fun makeup tutorial when no one is around – as long as you don’t do something drastic, like planning for plastic surgery or changing your hairstyle.

All in all, don’t settle for someone so quick just because they’re cute to look at or because they float your boat with their charm. It should apply for ending a relationship too. Nothing good comes from a hasty decision. If you’re attached, remember that your relationship isn’t perfect, and the retrograde will bring the gunk out to the surface. But hey, consider this as a Family Feud quiz to see how far you two can win the game of life. As long as by the end of the retrograde you know how to value yourself, and you know who is worth your valuable time, you’re good. Stay safe, happy, and loved during Venus retrograde, everyone! 


Foxglove Tarot Bali

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.

the comfort in reinventing yourself

dried tree near window in yellow light

It’s not our fault to feel uncomfortable in our own skin. We can’t choose where we want to be born, what kind of family we were born into, what kind of person we are, or even which gender. We had no control of our starting line, resulting in a coping mechanism in form of self-reinvention.

Sometimes I despise my own reflection for being less perfect than some of my peers. I wish my hair is silkier, my skin is fairer, and my nose is pointier; one reason why finding the right angle for selfie is pivotal to me. However, physical form is unlike a translucent soul that can be enriched and purified at all times. I do not enjoy the thought of putting myself under the knife. Hence, I choose the mildest option; wearing makeup whenever I go out. To me, the purpose of wearing make up is not to attract those men across my table. It’s empowering in a strong yet subtle way, allowing me to finally strut around with pride. If I don’t wear it, I look tired, when in reality I am perfectly awake. I also love how makeup helps me to convey different personalities depending on my mood. When I’m feeling sweet, I dab on a pink lipstick. Foxy mood, on the other hand, deserves a nice Russian Red smooch. I’m sure I’m not the only one who likes to bask in this momentary personalities.

My friend, on the other hand, reinvented himself by pretending to be a confident and bubbly man in the presence of others. In reality, he’s an awkward one. He joked one time that the concept of male ego does not apply to him because he sees himself as ‘worthless’. I disagrees with him every time because despite how he perceive himself, he’s not a closeted introvert. His actual self is the confident and the bubbly man who everyone sees (including me). He was not trying to reinvent himself, he’s just letting his inner self shine.

He made me realise how multifaceted humans are. You think you’re putting on that makeup because you want people to see you as the beautiful girl you are. Well, guess what, you are. You think you’re wearing all black to convince everyone that you’re a gothic one. It’s probably your current phase / mood or one of the multifaceted face of yours. The point is, you’re never anyone but you.

Reinventing ourselves is a form of breaking through the shell created by our environment to be our truest self. To be beautiful, to be gay, to be outgoing, whichever faces you are going with, do it if it makes you comfortable in your own skin. Nobody is living your life but you, and life is too short to live with pretence.

Photo credit: Sam X - Unsplash


Foxglove Tarot Bali

Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.