It was in December 2015 when I found my way to ‘consciousness’. I just recently graduated abroad, freshly released and ready to brace the corporate world. When it happened, I had been ‘awakened’ for a few years so the experience was shouldn’t have been surprising for me. Nonetheless, it still caught me off guard like a surprise call from a long distance relative.
I was 13 years old when my third eye chakra first opened. My first experience involved seeing/talking to entities around my area with my childhood friends. Fast forward 6 years later, I started practicing Wicca and divination during my free time. I continue to invest a lot of my time dabbling in spirituality and magick ever since.
But this time is different. It was unlike any of the awakenings I’ve experienced prior to this moment. Life has always been tough on me and I pride myself on being the strongest kind in the family who always put through with any obstacles along my way. So how come I felt so fragile this time? I felt as if the universe was pulling me to an entirely different direction of ‘consciousness’. It felt like I was being burned by a glaring wildfire that destroyed you with all its might and left you with nothing but the feeling of being naked and vulnerable. That’s when I started to hear these familiar little voices.
“Persevere, and you’ll rise from the ashes.” That’s what the little voice told me.
What followed afterward was a series of odd combinations of the feeling of contentment and discontentment. I was exceptionally unhappy with my career life regardless of what I have achieved and worked towards. Everything felt superficial and meaningless, thus I felt unhappy at most. At the same time, I started to be more aware of the simple things in life. Like that warm humid sunny day that I used to complain about? I enjoyed bathing in it now because it made me feel alive. Or the honest smile from the lady behind the counter? She made my day felt so much better with her smile. It’s baffling isn’t it, to realize how you are so much in contrast with yourself? The little voice agreed with me.
“You need to move to Ubud, Bali, in a few months time.” said the little voice.
The little voice didn’t explain what was exactly at the end of the rainbow. But it promised me that it will be a very enjoyable ride, just like how it promised me that I should date my current boyfriend because he’s the ultimate happiness bringer (which he is, to this very date). So I discussed with him about my escape plan. We agreed to follow the little voice this time around and we have decided to relocate in 2-3 months time. We still didn’t understand why until a few weeks later when my life took an extreme turn and I was left with no opportunity to continue my career. I had tried my best, but nothing seemed to work my way. I thought I could get a good shot in career and in life, but I was wrong. It’s as if life played an ironic joke against my will and pushed me straight from the edge of the cliff to follow the little voice’s path. I couldn’t think straight. All I can think about was, if I could ever achieve happiness from this moment onwards.
“Chasing things won’t make you happy. Being content, will.” said the little voice.
Then, it struck me. I realized what the little voice has been trying to say. What have I been looking for, exactly? Is it happiness? If so, I have been on the wrong path all these years. Happiness has nothing to do with external circumstances. If you think that you’ll be happy once you get a high paying job, a great husband, a big house, then you are following the path of discontentment. I have met successful people who still feel the void regardless of their abundance. On the other hand, some people who have nothing seems to be perfectly happy with their state. Yet they still have the time and money to share with others in need.
True happiness can only come hand in hand with the feeling of contentment. It can only be reached when we let go the need to control everything. When you are content, you start appreciating yourself and you'll be more aware of your surroundings. You’ll stop listening to the other little voice who told you to pursue the best things in life due to its fear of missing out. Yes, that nasty little voice whose existence is the epitome of greed. Once you harness these thoughts, you can finally have a chance at finding inner contentment.
So here I am, on my path towards happiness. I will be moving to Ubud, Bali, in one month time to pursue my passion in spirituality and divination. I’ll be working as a full-time tarot reader, open a crystal and metaphysical shop, and hone my skill in animal healing. There’s nothing but happiness and passion in channeling my creative energy to this project. Sure, there are obstacles to be dealt with, however, I can assure you that everything is worth it.
If you’re reading this, I’m not encouraging you to quit your job and take a leap. You can still do what you need to do to survive. Not everyone has the ability or the resources to leave everything behind, I know. Just remember to listen to the little voice once they decide to tell you to be happy and let things flow. You will be just fine. I’ve followed my little voice, and I can tell you that this is the only point in my life where I finally find true happiness within.
Love and Blessed Be,
Hello, I'm Canti!
I am a tarot reader and an eclectic witch living in Bali, providing online tarot reading and blessing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at www.foxglovetarot.com to book a private counseling session with me.