The Lesson in Deaths and Goodbyes

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After walking away from the people I loved recently, I’m starting to get better in dealing with goodbyes.

I started having abandonment issues since I was little. And ever since I could remember, I always felt like I was a victim. I would either blame myself or the people who left me for the pain that I felt.

But you know what, the recent lesson from my last goodbye has taught me that there’s more to it than finding out whose fault it is.

If there’s a “hello,” there’s always a “goodbye.”

Goodbyes are devastating. Losing anyone is always a painful process that we had to go through in any relationship, no matter how bad the relationship was.

Whenever you’re about to open your heart for someone new, you have to be prepared to leave them someday. All relationship is finite. When a life is created, that same life will eventually decease. When a relationship blooms, that once sweet, endearing feeling, will soon ebb away. Where there’s creation, there is death.

Sometimes it’s a metaphorical death, sometimes it’s literal.

But by understanding this cycle of life and death, it is not the pain of goodbye that we need to focus our energy on.

The limited time we have with our loved ones should be spent cherishing each other’s company; by being in the present moment, relishing every second we have together instead.

This is what I’m learning to live with currently. Since my first trip to India, I’ve been traveling since June 2018 (that’s about 5 months now). I’ve been meeting new people, and eventually, saying goodbye to them because my feet are taking me someplace new. I’ve also been experiencing too many heartbreaks in the past 5 months alone.

It was exhausting at first. And until now, my heart is still trying to make sense of it. But after a while, I realized that there’s no point focusing in goodbye. I’m traveling solo for a year. Goodbyes are bound to happen at least once a month. And it is precisely the secret ingredient that makes every “hello" special.

Remember the good times?

After a while, I’m starting to treat goodbyes like how I dealt my grandpa’s death.

Tell me, have you ever lost a loved one?

If you have, you would have known that there are two ways to remember the deceased. You would either go on a guilt trip, blaming yourself for not spending enough time with them, or you would remember their kindness or the way the deceased touched your heart.

So, why can’t we treat a goodbye, a break-up, or a departure, the same way we treat our deceased loved ones?

I meant, the latter. Because blaming yourself is an easy way out.

Instead of spending our energy remembering the chaos your loved one brought, or the pain of not being able to see them again, we can be grateful that the relationship was once there.

That happiness was real, the love was real. Everything from the smile on your face to the butterfly in your tummy was just as real as you’ve experienced it. Their departure was just a reminder that they no longer in a position to give you those memories anymore.

And now, it’s time for you (and I) to create another loving memory with someone else. It’s time to say goodbye to the pain and the longing, and give your heart the clean slate it deserves.

Good luck, loves. ❤️

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Hello, I'm Canti!

I am a nomadic tarot reader, Reiki Master, and an eclectic witch, providing online tarot reading and healing service for the mindful soul-searchers. Contact me at to book a private counseling session with me.